Why I am an aspiring minimalist
You’d probably think that living twelve years of relative poverty would make me a clear candidate for minimalism.
I say ‘relative’ poverty because as a consecrated lay person, we owned a limited number of things. The way this looked in praxis changed over the years from an actual specified numerical limit on pretty much every material item we used, to living within basic principles of having and using what one needed with the lens of evangelical poverty.
Enter life ‘in the world’, at thirty-two years old. I basically walked through about fifteen years of figuring out what clothing I liked, what fit me, what felt good and what was actually worth buying, all in the space of three years. The upside is that (in the grand scheme of things) it probably saved a ton of money condensing that whole ‘find your style’ process into such a short time frame. On the downside, it meant a lot of money spent in the zig zag path of figuring out what I like and what actually works for me in a pretty short space of time. (Oh, and did I mention that I was pregnant and breastfeeding for about 70% of that time? So there was that too).
Overall, the sudden influx of ‘stuff’ into my life, figuring out what to do with it, and how much of it to have (not to mention where to put it) seemed to be a source of constant overwhelm. That said, about seven or eight months ago I came across this idea of minimalism. Maybe I’m a tad behind the eight ball here (hey, I never promise to be up with what is trending, let’s just be clear about that right now), but I gather minimalism has been a ‘thing’ for quite a while now. You might be an enthusiastic minimalist, think it’s a bit weird, sick of another buzzword, or put off by the sickly pictures of mustard clothing and Scandi furniture.
Here’s some of my thoughts and what’s happened for me.
Pretty typical start. I came across the term ‘minimalism’, got intrigued, read a few minimalist blogs, listened to some podcasts, and read a few books (see a few resources you can browse through below). What I found was that while some of the concepts appealed to me, some of them felt too harsh, and some of it felt too prescriptive. I felt like there was something in it for me, but I hadn’t stumbled upon the ‘formula’ that clicked for me. And yes I skimmed through “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying” by Marie Kondo, but folding clothes like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lpc5_1896ro just makes me feel totally stressy on the inside.
I need daily systems that work, and that are simple enough for me to follow in a rush or when my brain isn’t up to full speed (for the record this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-2JkW9eGes was the game-changer for me when it came to laundry, especially washing and putting away kids clothes).
Anyway, it wasn’t until I stumbled upon a little gem of an idea by Jennifer at www.simplyfiercely.com called ‘Mindful Decluttering’, that something clicked. I think what I loved about Jennifer’s approach to decluttering is that she seemed to bring her feminine genius to the process in a way that I had not yet seen or heard. Her approach felt peaceful and whole. She has a free download on her website in which she takes you on a journey of reflective, mindful decluttering. It includes, how to think about just-in-case items, items that reflect your ‘fantasy self’, coming to terms with parting with things you have spent (ok, ok, wasted) money on and how to approach dealing with sentimental items. It brought home for me that in order to declutter, you have to do the mental work along the way that makes the actual physical act of deciding what to let go so much easier. She then guides you through a process of reflecting on each space in your home and reflecting on the purpose of the space, your needs, desires and how to create guidelines for making the space what you desire.
What Jennifer hits on so perfectly is the fact that women are all about space…what does the space inside my head feel like today? What about my heart? How does the space in this relationship feel? And what about the space in the home I am building around me? You don’t need to live in a house of your own to go through this process. You could be renting a tiny room, and still the way that you create and arrange that space around you makes all the difference for your peace on the inside.
I decided to give it a go. The natural me was inclined to try and think through the whole house at once, to feel a sense of security and achievement, and promptly get overwhelmed and do nothing. However, I knew something about this process had to be different if I wanted a different outcome, so I decided to let Jennifer guide me step by step. Room by room.
I grabbed an old notebook and wrote out what I wanted for the each space. I started with the smallest closet in the house (hey I needed a sense of accomplishment to spur me on...), and went from there.
Some rooms took an hour. Some took a couple of weeks. I worked slowly, gently, steadily. I enjoyed the process, but definitely felt moments of mental fatigue and overwhelm as I was struck by how much our relatively small home contained. But I kept going. If I lived alone and didn’t spend 95% of my day looking after a toddler and a baby, let’s just say I am fairly certain I could have shaved six months off the process. Oh and I should mention we had some reasonably hectic D.I.Y house renos going on throughout the entire process, meaning that many of those days I was stepping over tools and deciding whether to move them out of the way, pretend they weren’t there, run away or burn them. Please don’t imagine I was floating about my house listening to Enya while making effortless decisions about what went into the donation box. Somehow through keeping my eyes on the prize and the wins of feeling lighter along the way, literally eight months later, I put the last boxes of ‘not using now, but will keep and assess later’ in the attic. I have a couple of things I’m trying to sell, but will just donate if I have no luck. It’s not perfect, but I have, in actual fact, completed round one of the nine room (and three small closets) house that we live in.
Here’s the whole point of this story; people become minimalists for all different reasons; to pick up and travel more easily, to save money, to live more people-centred and less stuff-centred lives, to experience more mental space for creativity, to decrease the ‘mental load’ of inventory maintain...the list goes on. If I had to name my main initial motivation, it was to not feel constant overwhelm at dealing with stuff. All. The. Time. I felt like my life had become a 24/7 cleaning up and putting away cycle and it was so depleting. Everyone is different, but for me, having young kids has highlighted how much a tidy-enough house makes a massive difference for my mental and emotional well-being.
As I went through the process, I had a lot of mindset shifts and learned a lot of neat hacks (mostly thanks to Dawn at www.theminimalmom.com). And I now feel like I am experiencing a few key differences in my daily life.
1. I can handle the mess better.
In her videos, Dawn speaks about how someone coming to visit with you in the middle of the day might see a messy house with toys all over the floor and might not perceive you are a minimalist at all. In reality though, you know that it will take 5 minutes max to pick up and put it all away. I can now totally handle toys on the floor all day long, because I know they all have a place to go and it will take about 5 minutes to put them all away when we do an after-dinner once over. Whoa.
2. Motivation
I am way more motivated to do a load of laundry, put clean clothes away straight away and straighten up the bathroom because I know that a) everything has a place to go and it’s easy to put away and b) doing little bits here and there keeps the house feeling so peaceful. I no longer feel overwhelmed by the amount or repetition of daily tasks.
3. Way less buyers remorse
I feel so much more peaceful and intentional about what I buy and don’t feel like I have to justify it. It meets a need in my closet or my home. This lends itself to buying better quality as well.
4. Mental Space
I feel like I have space in the hard drive in my brain – this is the biggest one. Evidently, physical clutter really affects me. Knowing I have walked through each space in our home and done my best at a once over declutter has given me a new freedom to think and a general sense of a burden lifted. It also helps me to be more present to my family and just live the moment at hand.
5. A mindset shift
I think I’ve shifted from thinking decluttering is a thing you do or minimalism as a goal to attain, to simply enjoying the journey. It’s cool to keep reflecting and picking up new ideas, trying different things and seeing if they work for us.
If you’re new to this idea and keen to dabble a little, here are a few places to start. Plenty more on google. And no, no one is getting endorsed here, just sharing the love.
Some Resources:
Youtube Channel - The Minimal Mom: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeLICYOqHfIrfSAQq1TT7PA
Blog - The Minimalists:
https://www.theminimalists.com/
Blog - Mindful Decluttering:
https://www.simplyfiercely.com/
Blog - Joshua Becker
https://www.becomingminimalist.com/
Book by Francine Joy
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8576972-the-joy-of-less-a-minimalist-living-guide
